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An illuminating exploration of human beings' astonishing ability to deceive themselves. To one degree or another, we all misjudge reality. Our perception-of ourselves and the world around us-is much more malleable than we realize. This self-deception influences every major aspect of our personal and social life, including relationships, sex, politics, careers, and health. In Kidding Ourselves, Joseph Hallinan offers a nuts-and-bolts look at how this...
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" Human beings are primates, and primates are political animals. Our brains, therefore, are designed not just to hunt and gather, but also to help us get ahead socially, often via deception and self-deception. But while we may be self-interested schemers,we benefit by pretending otherwise. The less we know about our own ugly motives, the better - and thus we don't like to talk or even think about the extent of our selfishness. This is "the elephant...
3) Mistakes were made (but not by me): why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions, and hurtful acts
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A NEW EDITION UPDATED IN 2020 • Why is it so hard to say "I made a mistake" - and really believe it?
When we make mistakes, cling to outdated attitudes, or mistreat other people, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so, unconsciously, we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right-a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral,...
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Whether it's in a cockpit at takeoff or the planning of an offensive war, a romantic relationship or a dispute at the office, there are many opportunities to lie and self-deceive -- but deceit and self-deception carry the costs of being alienated from reality and can lead to disaster. So why does deception play such a prominent role in our everyday lives? In short, why do we deceive?
In his bold new work, prominent biological theorist Robert Trivers...
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Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you wonder why? Does something seem wrong, but you can't put your finger on it? In The Lies We Tell Ourselves, psychotherapist Jon Frederickson reveals the ways we fool ourselves and how to get unstuck. Through dozens of stories and examples, he shows how the apparent cause of our problems is almost never the real cause. In addition, he reveals what we really fear and how to face it. In these pages you'll discover•...
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A newborn's absent face appears on the back of someone else's head, a filmmaker goes to gruesome lengths to achieve the silence he's after for his final scene, and a therapist begins, impossibly, to appear in a troubled patient's room late at night. In these stories of doubt, delusion, and paranoia, no belief, no claim to objectivity, is immune to the distortions of human perception. Here, self-deception is a means of justifying our most inhuman impulses--whether...